true story.

Ladies, 

You know what our biggest issue is? We find a guy/ girl that we want to be with and we date a couple times. We think everything goes well but all of a sudden that person stops contacting us. Ok, so things didn’t go as planned. That’s fine. “There are other fish in the sea.” But, instead of accepting the rejection we try to figure out what went wrong. We text, call, message, send a letter, any type of communication to get across to these people that dropped us, “we ARE worth it.” 

We ARE worth it, they aren’t. If they don’t want to be in our lives that is their loss. We CANNOT continue to ask: “what happened” “I thought things were going great” “you can’t talk to me?” “why don’t you just communicate” “tell me what is wrong with me” “really? you’re not going to text back?” “Fine, I don’t need you anyway” 

Girl! Back off. We don’t need them. Embrace your individuality, embrace you single side. Don’t waste time trying to make something workout that has already failed. Why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t even have enough respect for you to tell you they aren’t interested in you? Why do you want to be with someone that you have to CONVINCE to be with you. If they don’t see what they are missing out on, their loss. Can we please work on ourselves and not our non-existing relationships. 

This is a self-centered blog. Just know that before you read. :)

I’m really good at giving advice but I’m really bad at taking it. I’ve been holding on to something for a long time and I need to let go of the “familiar”. I’m good at setting goals for myself and bettering who I am as a person, physically and mentally. However, I have a problem with letting things go. Whether it be arguments, past relationships, burned friendships, death, etc. 

I compare a lot of current events with outstanding past experiences. I shouldn’t, I tell people not to, but I do it anyway. I know I have learned so much from things that have happened in the past. I am who I am because of these things but for some reason there is a select few things that I can’t let go of. 

I know that who I am will not change if I let go of what I’m holding on to. I know that more than likely it will better who I am if I do let it go. My problem is, I’ve been waiting on my “what if” to happen. I need reality to slap me in the face and tell me that after so long, if the “what if” hasn’t happened, you need to stop waiting. Every part of my life has grown for the better. I’m smarter, healthier, better, than I have ever been and this small part of me that is holding on to the “what if” is holding me back from being 100%. 

Am I afraid of what could be? I’m afraid that if I give up on the “what if” I will lose my chance forever. But, I know that if it was suppose to be more than a “what if” then it would already be. Right? 

It’s time. I won’t let go 100% over night but eventually, what is in the past will be in the past. 

I’m not a resolutioner. I am on a lifestyle change and this is going on my second year. Last year I lost 30 pounds as most of you know. If you don’t know then we weren’t friends before April 2011, lol. Anyway, I’m losing my weight old school style. Changing the way I eat and exercising. I hit a plateau in August and fell of the wagon. I started with Chalene Johnson’s “TurboFire” from “Beachbody fitness” a series where “P90X” was created. It got me down 28lbs then I joined the rush when I finished the 90 days. Since April I have gained back 7lbs. Not too bad considering the foods/ alcohols that I’ve put into my body! 

I made it a vow to myself that once school started back that I would get back on the weight loss wagon. This way I have a set schedule and have no excuses! My goal for this year is 40lbs. I’m giving my self until September to lose all of it. This is PLENTY of time. I don’t want to rush it because I want it to stay off. 

In February I am signing up for 12 fit coach sessions and I have been recommended to a coach that “yells” at her clients. I know I have it in me but I want someone to push me until I want to vomit. I need someone other than myself and my friends to hold me accountable. I want my workout sessions to be so hardcore that I can’t walk for 3 days. This woman will do that for me. Until then, the a fit coach gave me a 7 week-12min workout schedule that I’m going to do on top of the classes that I like to take each week. 

Diet is going to be my struggle. I love BREAD. Any form of bread, however I like eating healthy foods so I just have to flip the switch. Today was a good start because it’s the first time since August that I haven’t had a soda. I’m proud for that one. When I actually go grocery shopping I am going to purchase foods that will force me to cook so I have things for 3 meals a day. With my work and school schedule there is no reason for me to have to eat out. Plus, this will help me save a LOT of money. 

If you ever want to go running, walking, dancing, or work-out holler at me. It will push me to do more. If I don’t have a ton of homework or have to work, I shouldn’t have an excuse :)

As of late I have been giving a lot of my friends “relationship” advice.  It’s ironic that they come to me because I’m single (have been for a while). I read advice columns and try to act like I know what’s really going on. I may be one of the few that can truly say, I’m happy being single. I love my friends with all of my heart. I know when I find someone that is the equivalent to my friends with a touch of romance, that’s when I’ll know that I’ve found my soul mate. I’m not interested in drama, jealousy, distrust, flaky-ness, and stress. Being in a relationship should be like spending almost all of your extra time with your best friend. It should be effortless. I’ll settle for nothing less.

Knowing what I expect, I advise my friends in the same direction. Most of us are in our Mid-twenties so we are just casually dating. But, living vicariously through their dating lives, it has saved me from extra drama and let down. Not saying that I want them to experience this but, it seems like both my guy and girl friends are experiencing the same flaky-ness and shady-ness from the recent people they have “dated” or even just “talked” to. There for, I don’t date. I enjoy my life and live surrounded with some of the most amazing friends and I’m ok with that! 

Now, I have come to realize that we all have drama and issues. We all become a little “crazy” once we are in a relationship. There are so many emotions that surface once the “L” word is in the mix. If you are “S” active than there is a whole different ballgame at play. I feel like if you can’t be with someone and trust them (no matter how bad you have been hurt in the past) then maybe you shouldn’t be dating yet. I think you have personal things that should be dealt with first before you bring that extra baggage in to what has potential to be a great relationship. Focus on you and when you have accepted the past for what it is (the past), you can move forward. Don’t ruin a potentially great relationship with unexplained insecurities. I get it, we’ve all been burned. We have all been hurt, cheated on, used, manipulated, lied to, left for no reason. You name it, folks of our generation are damaged goods. Don’t let that BS effect your future. We can recover from that and be great! You have to see it for yourself though. No one else can “heal” you and YOU can’t “heal” ANYONE else.  

Don’t go in to a new relationship thinking this person is going to “f” you over just like the last person did. Contrary to popular belief, all people aren’t the same. People “mesh” differently with every person they come in contact with. Give each new person the benefit of the doubt. If they prove to be like the last one, kick them to the curb and move on. Life is to short to wonder “what if”. What do you have to lose? One more day of your life? So what! You were just going to spend that evening on Facebook, probably stalking an ex anyway. Do something with yourself! Test the waters! 

Now, “GO GET ‘EM TIGER”  :)  

For the longest time I had no idea what I was capable of doing. I’ve always been too afraid to try new things and do something that I was interested in but was always unsure I could do it. If you have even the slightest hope that you can do it, DO IT! I went to watch my friend Kayla play softball last Tuesday and they needed another girl to play. I’ve always loved watching and just playing around but I’ve never really played ball since I was 10. They asked me to fill in and I ended up having a blast. We are suppose to play a double header today but it’s raining. Needless to say, I’m hooked and I love it. I went to my first spin class today. I’ve always done cardio classes and I’ve even worked myself to where I can run a mile in 10 min so I wanted to try something new. My rear is sore from the seat but overcoming the pain of the seat was the only struggle that I had. I loved ride and will definitely be going back!!! 

You are the only person that you can count on to be there for you 100% of the time and if you don’t hold yourself accountable no one else will. Don’t cheat on your diet or slack in your workout if you are truly wanting to lose weight and get healthy, the only person you are cheating is yourself. Why let yourself down??? I know that if I focus and get serious like before I will be at my goal no later than mid-February! You can do it too! If you just tell yourself, “it’s time to make a change and a difference in my life and I have no more excuses!” 

GET IT, GET IT!!!! :) <3

As I sit in Starbucks and schedule my workouts for the week in the same beat up planner that I used the first half of my weight loss adventure, I schedule 6 classes this week so I can get a taste of some different classes. I look at my planner and think to myself that I may be pushing it. I flip to the back of the planner where I transferred earlier pages out of my way and they were way more full than this week is. I got this in the bag! :) With the 50 day challenge I have an incentive to win because I will beat others and I will kick the plateaus ass. ;) I only have 40 more, possibly 50lbs to lose to be where I want and ‘need’ to be. I’ll be there by February, mark my words. 

With fall just around the corner, Starbucks as brought back the infamous Pumpkin Spiced Latte that I am IN LOVE WITH. However, with the new challenge one of our points getters is to log our food, I found a calorie counting website so I know what kind of calories I’m getting and a Grande PSL is 352 calories!!! That is more than a sausage biscuit from bojangles (how do I know? That’s what I had for breakfast, ooops) LOL. So, this is devastating news (ok, not really but kind of) and I have to change everything if I’m going to make this possible. I’m about to go H.A.M. 

I have a lot of motivation and I really want to shed this weight and it seems like the only way I’m going to be able to do so is by cutting carbs. I don’t wanna but I don’t have any other choice. I can’t cut them out altogether but mostly. I need to keep good carbs in my diet so that while I’m lifting weights I don’t kill over. So I guess where this rant is going is that I don’t have the motivation I need to cut out certain foods in my diet. I love good food and I really need to psych myself up to do this. 

Well I’m going to stop talking about it and be about it! Here we go! I’ll keep you posted, as always. 

Tomorrow starts my 50 day challenge at The Rush. I kicked it off with an awesome power class this morning. I’m so excited to see where these next 50 days take me. I talked to one of the coaches and just talking about it got me super pumped. I’m going to be a totally transformed person by November and I can’t wait!!! This has been the  best year ever! Once I’m totally healthy and in my new frame of mind, I will be able to conquer anything! :) jk, but really ;). I’m so thankful to have the time and the drive to dedicated to my health and wellness. Give me 3 more years I’ll be a teacher, cheerleading coach, and fit coach. I love my life and can’t wait to see where I go :)

You are you and no one can or should change that. Once you put your mind to something you should be unstoppable. Never give up. 

Ok, I know this post is super CHEESE but I’m in a great mood right now so there. LOL

Oh btw I’m a big girl and I can run a mile in 10min…. EAT THAT!!!! ;)